The conclusion that I have reached in this lifestyle is something that I have always read as just "a word". The word surrender. You can read the word you can think you understand what it is all about in your mind, BUT, until you "feel" what it actually means inside of you, it is just that, a word.
There is a moment in time. An ah ha moment that had to happen with me to understand fully what is meant by that. I choose to think of the word surrender, more as a feeling.
Yes I surrendered to being tied up, to being made to cum at Master's will, to obeying whatever it is Master wanted me to do. But beyond all of that is a feeling. It means that I am relaxed into it. That instead of feeling a little apprehensive about what is coming next, I let go. It is a bit synonomous with the word trust, but to me at a deeper level.
In my mind I use the word surrender a lot. It helped me through everything from Master's absence, to feeling some physical pain. Getting through the tough times as a slave. Until I fully surrendered in the relationship it could not be a full relationship, it was only half of what the relationship could be. I was giving my all....every part of my mind and body.
How wonderful it feels to be in that total surrender when your Master is letting you cum. You feel it both in your mind, and your body, you attain a higher level of feeling in both aspects. You could ask no more of your Master or yourself........
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